Ten Worst Songs to Play at a Wedding, Part 1
Don’t play any of this music at your next gig if you would like to keep your job! These are the ten worst songs to play at a wedding.
A good DJ knows that the perfect song can change the night. But an unfortunately timed song can be just as devastating. This is a list of the ten worst songs to play at a wedding, either because they are blatantly sexist, or apply to topics that are completely inappropriate for a nuptial ceremony. It’s not a good idea to play this music around children and old people anyway, unless the family is super ratchet and they don’t mind.
To learn what music people actually want to hear at a wedding, navigate to part two of the series: Best Songs to Play at a Wedding.
1. Chris Brown ft Lil Wayne & Tyga – Loyal
There were three versions of this Chris Brown and Lil Wayne song, one with Tyga, one with Too Short and French Montana. The one thing they could all agree on was that hoes are not loyal. If you play any version of this track at a wedding, you will be implying the bride is a woman of loose morals, and that’s not good.
Worst lyric: Why you fronting?/ Baby, show me something/ When I call her, she gon’ leave/ And I bet that bottom dollar she gon’ cheat…
2. Dr. Dre – Bitches Ain’t Shit
Dr. Dre released this track on his debut studio album the Chronic (1992), which he has since removed from Spotify. But not before it ruined a generation of young men, and possibly their weddings as well. The groom certainly isn’t marrying the bride because she is such a hoe/trick.
Worst lyric: Bitches ain’t shit but hoes and tricks/ Lick on these nuts and suck the dick/ Gets the fuck out after you’re done/ And I hops in my ride to make a quick run…
3. Guns N’ Roses – I Used to Love Her
Gun N’ Roses first performed this song on stage in 1987 during their Appetite for Destruction Tour. At the time Axel Rose, Izzy Stadlin and Slash assured the public it was a joke song. But the family of the bride will probably not appreciate this one.
Worst lyric: I used to love her, Mm, yeah/ But I had to kill her/ I had to put her six feet under/ And I can still hear her complain…
4. Eminem – Kill You
This was the first track on Eminem’s sophomore Marshall Mathers LP in 2000. At the time the media was always talking about his controversial lyrics, so he must have made the song as offensive as possible. Among other topic he raps about raping his mother, and murdering women in the forest — which actually happens, Marshall.
Worst lyric: Bitch, I’ma kill you; I ain’t done, this ain’t the chorus/ I ain’t even drug you in the woods yet to paint the forest/ A bloodstain is orange/ After you wash it three or four times in a tub/ But that’s normal, ain’t it, Norman..?
5. Frank Sinatra – The Lady Is a Tramp (Cover)
This song was composed in 1937 by Rogers and Hart for the musical Babes in Arms. It may seem classy at first when Frank Sinatra sings it. But to contemporary listeners it sound like he’s calling his girlfriend a promiscuous woman, or possibly a vagrant beggar.
Worst lyric: She likes the free, fresh wind in her hair/ Life without care/ She’s broke, and it’s okay/ Hates California, it’s cold and it’s damp/ That’s why the lady is a tramp…
6. Jay-Z ft UGK – Big Pimpin’
In 2000 Jay-Z released his hit single “Big Pimpin'” feathering southern rap group UGK, in which he proclaimed he would never give his heart to a woman. Eight years later, he married pop singer Beyonce in a lavish spring ceremony. So he probably doesn’t sing this song at home that much anymore.
Worst lyric: Bitch, better trust and believe ’em/ In the cut where I keep ’em/ ‘Til I need a nut, ’til I need to beat the guts/ Then it’s “beep beep” and I’m pickin’ them up/ Let ’em play with the dick in the truck…
7. Nate Dogg ft Mobb Deep – See the Same Hoes
Nate Dogg’s classic hook about rap music groupies, is notable as part of the 2Pac song “All About U.” Since then it has inspired a wealth of songs that you should never, ever play at a wedding, such as “Same Hoes” by Rick Ross, or “Same Hoes” by the Game.
Worst lyric: You probably crooked as the last trick/ wanna laugh At how I got my ass caught up with this bad bitch/ Thinkin I had her but she had me in the long run/ It’s just my luck I’m stuck with fuckin with the wrong one…
8. Prodigy – Smack My Bitch Up
Prodigy dropped their controversial track “Smack My Bitch Up” in 1997 as part of Fat of the Land. Then in 2016 the official DJ of the Chicago Cubs was fired for playing the song at a game. He used it to introduce Aroldis Chapman, who recently served a 30-game suspension after he allegedly choked his wife and fired eight shots inside their home.
Worst (and only) lyrics: Change my pitch up/ Smack my bitch up…
9. Snoop Dogg ft Warren G & Nate Dogg – Ain’t No Fun
You can tell from his discography that Nate Dogg had some issues with women during the Nineties. “Ain’t No Fun” by Snoop Dogg featuring Warren G and Nate Dogg might be a good soundtrack for a swingers ball, but it’s definitely bad form at a wedding!
Worst lyric: I had respect for you lady/ But now I take it all back/ Cause you gave me all your pussy/ And you even licked my balls/ Leave your number on the cabinet/ And I promise baby, I’ll give you a call/ Next time I’m feeling kinda horny/ You can come on over/ And I’ll break you off/ And if you can’t fuck that day baby/ Just lay back and open your mouth/ Cause I have never met a girl/ That I love in the whole wide world…
10. TLC – Creep
Men are not the only ones guilty of cheating on their relationships, as TLC explains in their hit single “Creep” (1994). However the day of the wedding is way too soon to be getting tired of each other. Don’t freak out the groom by playing this song at his wedding.
Worst lyric: I love my man with all honesty/ But I know he’s cheatin’ on me/ I look him in his eyes but all he/ Tells me is lies to keep me near/ I’ll never leave him down though/ I might mess around it’s only/ ‘Cause I need some affection oh…
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